Forgiveness - Coffee and Conversations #15

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Sometimes I cannot relate to the topics of the CnC's or I just don't know what to write so I pass over the question. They tend to be really thought provoking and really help to delve into looking into myself as a whole person. It's really great to truly think about something, mull it around and really know how I feel about a topic. This weeks question: "What does forgiveness look like? At what point do you realize it's time to forgive and move on if someone takes advantage of you?"

This is something that I have struggled with my whole life. When I feel jilted it takes me a long time to recuperate from that feeling. I used to say that I forgive, but never forget. Now that I look back at it, if you forgive, but don't forget are you truly forgiving the person for their wrong doings? The not forgetting mentality is making that indiscretion stick in your head forever. Then when another indiscretion happens, you bring up all the past ones in your head and the whole thing gets blown wide open again. In my opinion this is holding a grudge. Grudges are very ugly. I used to hold grudges, but as I get older I know that they are a waste of time. I am the only one that cares and it puts a strain on myself and my psyche. Life is just too short to be wasted on holding grudges.

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We all have to remember that we are not just needing to forgive, sometimes people need to forgive us. We are human, and we all make mistakes. I am sometimes the one dishing out something that needs to be forgiven. This is another thing I struggle with; not being quick to apologize. My hubby can attest to this. Even if I know I am in the wrong, I don't always come out and say those two words that diffuse most situations "I'm sorry." I have been working on this a lot lately. To recognize my actions and how they may come off, either to him or to others. That doesn't mean that I am not myself, but let just be real here.....I am a red-headed Irish/Italian....I can have a short fuse. I am learning to recognize when I am being un-reasonable and have made big strides in taking my temper down a notch or two. Taking deep breaths and sometimes walking away from the situation to calm down makes every situation a little less hot.

Forgiveness and forgiving comes from a strong person. One that cares about what others thinks enough to respect them and their feelings. Singular mentality (me me me) doesn't get you anywhere. Being a kind and good person, forgiving AND forgetting is really the type of person I wish to be. Try not to live in the past. It has been said that you can't see your future if you are too busy looking at the past. We learn from the past, and it helps us grow towards our future, but we can't get stuck there.

I hope you all remember to forgive whenever someone wrongs you, but I also hope that you remember to apologize when you have wronged someone. It always helps when the other person recognizes that you didn't mean to hurt them, because most of the time, we don't mean to hurt one another. I hope you all link up with Lauren and Kalyn so I can read all about your thoughts on this topic.