Social Approval? Is it Important? - Coffee and Conversations

I was going to write this post yesterday, but as we all know life gets a little crazy sometimes and we can't get everything we want done in a day. Seriously the last two weekends have been super busy and I haven't even had a chance to blog about them yet. We celebrated D's 30th birthday on the 14th along with a close friends wedding and this past weekend we were thrown a surprise birthday by our parents and many many family members came out to celebrate with us! It was so great! I just need to get the photo's so I can share about it with you!

A little teaser!

Anyways, back to today's post and it's another Coffee and Conversations post. The question at hand is: "How important is social approval to you?"

Lets get straight to the bare bones here. I think social approval is important to everyone. We are social creatures by nature and like to live in packs. We have family dynamics that range based on our locations, but the thing that remains the same is always being near to our loved ones and core group. With me, as I age I look at social approval very differently then I did when I was a kid or teenager. In high school I was awkwardly shy, and continue to be that way. This made me not have a lot of friends, but the core group that I had were very close and dear to me. I still am friends with some of those people today. Once out of high school I determined that it was very important to be socially accepted. With the invention of social media outlets it became a game to see how many "friends" you could acquire. These people aren't really your friends, just a way to increase your social reach. I have since this time done several 'cleaning' bursts on all social media to clear out these people because it's just not necessary to have that in my life.

Social acceptance also lies in the media. Being that you have to dress a certain way, or look a certain way, or weigh a certain amount to be accepted. Being that I live in the Los Angeles Metro area, I see this a lot. We compare ourselves constantly with others and the keeping up with the Jones' mentality is turning us into a materialistic, self-centered society. I hate it! Why can't we be who we are meant to be. I can't say that I am not guilty of being envious of others, how they dress or carry themselves. But I have learned to accept who I am, and those things that I find as shortcomings are usually only in my head. Other's don't see them. Frankly if other's wanted to point out my shortcomings and gossip about me, that is fine. I am who I am and I am not going to change for a social aspect.

In my life now, I am doing just that. Learning to accept who I am as a whole person. Loving my body (self-conscious), loving my personality, and just hoping that those people who are in my life can accept the fact that's who I am. Do I still need social approval? I guess in a way. I do write this blog and love when I see a new follower or comment. But I don't write this space for acceptance. I write it for me. I need approval from a select few in my life and those that I have chosen do. I accept them for who they are. I am constantly trying to improve myself and when I get constructive criticism, I make sure to apply it in my daily life. This is the best I can do. Just to constantly improve and look towards the future! I am so grateful to all my readers and those of you who accept who I am, and love to read what I write! Thank you for always being there!

The ABC's of Me!

Happy Friday Everyone! So the hubby and I are going on vacation for a week starting tomorrow night. I will be busy cleaning, laundry and packing tonight and tomorrow, but I am going to try and schedule some posts for next week. I have the update to our Catalina trip almost ready to go, another craft post, and a Coffee and Conversations link up on Monday. I am going to TRY TRY TRY to get it all in before we hop on our red-eye tomorrow night! Wish me luck. Anyways I thought that I would share a little bit about me for my new followers! Yay! Welcome to my site! Here we go! 

The ABC's of Me!

A: Available or Married?

I am as married as they come! The hubby and I have been together for 12 years and will celebrate our 6^th wedding anniversary later this year! Not going anywhere!

B: Book

*Blush* I am currently in the middle of several books. I am about ¼ of the way through Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I know I know. I saw all of the movies first then decided that I needed to read the books. The other one that I am about half way through is “The Girl Who Played with Fire” by Steig Larsson. I am really trying to get into it, but I just can’t seem to. Anyone else think that he was a little too descriptive in his writing style and leaves nothing to the imagination? Just my opinion. Also I started The Hunger Games…..I need to finish the first one (watched the movie first again) and try and get in Catching Fire before November when the movie comes out.

C: Cake or Pie? 

Oooh. This is a toughie. I am not so much a “cake” person as more of a cupcake person. It’s the perfect amount. But honestly I wouldn’t refuse a chocolate silk or cherry piece of pie! So the answer is BOTH!

D: Drink of Choice? 

I am not really a coffee person. I really have to be in the mood, that being said black coffee on a cold morning is really really good. I get my caffeine jolt from Diet Pepsi. (or Coke if that’s what’s available) I drink water because it’s necessary, but it’s not my most favorite beverage in the world

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E: Essential Item?

Mascara! I have blonde BLONDE eyelashes and if I don’t enhance them with a little mascara then my eyes look like something is missing.

F: Favorite Color?

As apparent by my home and wardrobe teal and grey. Seriously it’s everywhere!

G: Game to Play or Watch? 

I really don’t like watching sports on television. I prefer to see them live, but since my sports game budget is pretty nil I guess I can tolerate football on television. Since it’s on almost every Sunday during pro season I have gotten a little bit more appreciation for the game.

H: Hometown?

I grew up in many cities but I call my hometown Simi Valley. It’s where I spent the majority of my youth and my parents grew up there too!

I: Indulgence?

I indulge in YouTube vids….Jlovesmac1, leflooftv, itsjudy'slife, blog reading and Ghost Hunters. All things my husband just doesn’t understand! But I love it!

J: Job Title

I am an interior designer. My firm specializes in commercial design and tenant improvement, but every once in a while we get to do some great and fun things!

K: Kids and Names?

Yes! We totally want kids! Sooner the better! We keep trying with no luck, but that’s not stopping us! Oh no it’s not! As for names, I have a couple boys names that I truly LOVE! Girls are another story. Frankly I am kinda on the name your girls with gender neutral names trend. I love Spencer, Kennedy, and Presley a lot…..sigh. I guess it will only matter when the time comes.

L: Life is Incomplete Without?

My hubby and our puppy. We have such a wonderful life, and constantly make each other laugh. Our pup is just as quirky. I guess the saying pets are like their owners is true!

M: Music Group?

I worked in a music store for 4 years in college. My music taste is vast! Gangster rap and polka are really the only thing I don’t care for. I have girly music, boy bands, classic rock, scream-o, punk, grunge, alternative, country, hip hop, electronica, trance, dance, r&b, jazz, you name it, I either will listen to it! Although I have been on a country kick lately.

N: Number of Siblings?

Biologically I am an only child. I did marry into a family with multiple children so I now have siblings! Yes! A brother and a sister!  

O: Oranges or Apples? 

Apples! 

P: Phobias/Fears?

Heights! Greatest fear of all! I am doing things to try and overcome that though! Like zip lining! I was so scared! Next time we go to a theme park, I will attempt to talk myself into roller coasters again.

Q: Quote?

“Love me without fear. Trust me without questioning. Need me without demanding. Want me without restriction. Accept me without change. Desire me without inhibitions. For a love so free…will never fly away”

R: Reason To Smile?

Every day should be a reason to smile. I have a wonderful family, a great career, I am healthy. What’s more to need? Possessions only make you unhappy. I have made a pact that I want memories and laughter in my life. That way, when I am feeling a little blue I have those to look back on and smile.

S: Season? 

Fall. I love the cool breezes and the color changes (even though they are few and far between here in So-Cal)

T: Tattoos? 

None yet. I have one planned but I just need to get up the courage to go and get it done!

U: Unknown Fact About Me? 

My favorite cartoon character is Sleeping Beauty for a reason. I can fall asleep anywhere. At a motocross race, in the middle of a party, while driving (in the passenger seat of course!) Seriously I LOVE to sleep!

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V: Vegetable You Love?

Currently I am loving sugar snap peas. They are the perfect snack!

W: Worst Habits?

I pick at my face! All the time! It’s no wonder my skin is always breaking out! The hubby is always pulling my hand away from a scabbed over pimple. It’s really bad! However when I put on foundation and concealer I pick less…..perhaps I should do that more often.

X: X-Rays? 

I have had a couple, but have never broken any bones. One for a majorly sprained ankle….I can’t remember what the other ones were for.

Y: Yummy Food?

PASTA! I love pasta especially my family’s home made sauce!!!!!

Z: Zoo Favorites? 

I am more of an aquarium person. I love looking at fish, seals, jellies, and of course SHARKS!!!! Shark week is one of my favorite tv series!

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Headboards, Catalina, Weddings and a Pigskin Party

Ok so it's been mostly crafty posts around here lately. Honestly because so much has been going on at work and in my personal life that the time to write an actual blog post seemed to get put on the back burner. I have been out of the office at least 4 days out of the week for the last 3 weeks and it's not slowing down. I usually write my posts either on my lunch break or on the weekends. So here's whats gone on the last two weeks.

I finished the chalkboard and posted a couple of recipes to boot! All of which has gotten great interest on Pinterest which makes me so happy! I need to figure out some more things to keep the content of this blog and momentum going! I do have a couple of other baby crafts to post, but one needs to be finished before I post. Maybe this weekend, while doing laundry and getting ready to go to CATALINA! Whoop! We are so excited to get away for a couple of days and have an adventure.

Last week I got a hit with a double whammy. A bout of food poisoning with a UTI to boot. I was not a happy camper at all. While waiting two hours in urgent care and getting my meds, all I wanted to do is lie in bed and sleep. Instead of actually sleeping, I just watched Grey's Anatomy on Netflix and read blogs on my phone. I got to one of my favorites, Sawdust and Embryos as she was announcing the winner of the contest she was holding for a DIY headboard. I just entered cause I LOVED the fabrics, but never thought that I would win. Well wouldn't you know, I did! I had a great little email conversation with Beth and she told me that all my supplies shipped this weekend! EEK! Stay tuned for that to be featured in the future and pop over to her blog to read about her crafty life with her hubby and two adorable girls! They do awesome furniture redo's! Trust me you wont regret visiting!

We went to a comedy show last weekend, to root on a friend who's trying to get into the business and got to see Andy Dick in person! He was funny, but mostly just sang funny songs instead of doing actual stand-up, so that was a bummer. Also I met up with a dear friends sister, the future Mrs. G to discuss helping her as a day of coordinator for her wedding in August. Her details look perfect and I can't wait to help her out with the biggest day of her life! Gotta get the timeline together and make a site visit to Santa Paula to get an idea of how everything can be set up. She's got all the decor details figured out, just gotta work out some of the kinks with regards to the ceremony and set up and just be there to help with everything she needs on the big day! I'm really excited to do this for her!

You might have been aware of the game that happened this past weekend. I dunno, it's some big thing here in the states that most people get all riled up over, the Super Bowl. I am not a big fan of football, but like to make it interesting by making little wagers with D. Not only did I predict that the Raven's were gonna win, but I won our little side bet! HaHA! Too bad I didn't come up with my own wager beforehand, but it's more interesting for me to have something to look forward too. We went to a friends house to watch the game, with 3 other couples. 2 of them had the most adorable little boys, and Dylan (pictured above) loved our friends little bridge that he has in his yard. We tend to always make fun of it, but it was the perfect size for a toddler. He loved walking back and forth on that thing! He was so cute! For the most part the "Super Bowl" party turned into a sit outside and eat yummy food while playing baggo party. It was so fun and relaxing. Poor D was the only one who wanted to watch the game. We did end up watching most of the second half, as it was far more entertaining. Super Bowl at Casa P's will forever be known as Non-Super Bowl party.

Since there were babies a foot, the topic came up over the course of the day with many questions with regards to our luck. So, here's a little update on that. December marked our official go-time to try again. Unfortunately we haven't had luck yet, but are having fun with the process....because honestly it's not supposed to be a chore. We are still very positive and are waiting patiently for our time. Seriously though, there is WAY too much cute stuff out there! I am looking forward to visiting our god-daughter and niece at the end of the month to get more of a baby fix as well.

So that's what has gone on in our neck of the woods! Can't wait to share our island vacation with you all as well! Maybe I will bring up the courage to zip-line! o.O 

Trying for some consistency

So, I know over the last 2 years this blog really hasn't been consistent, I mean sporadic posts and sometimes weeks without one. The main focus of this blog is really about my life with my hubby and our puppy and also the happiness, struggles, and all things that are surrounded in our lives. Since we have been trying to have a baby that has been a huge focus, and taken some away from other areas! Such is life, but I feel like the content of my little blog has suffered. It's been a journey until now and we are still chugging along. That being said I think I need to make a schedule for all of you.

Since I have had baby on the brain I have been crafting like crazy! We have not conceived, but I keep seeing all sorts of great items to create and have a ton of scrap fabric so I think to myself.....well I can just keep it all on hand for baby showers or birthdays....that sort of thing. Just to keep my craft bug alive. D watched football yesterday (Sunday) and I sat at my machine and plugged along like crazy! So I have five, 1234....Five, tutorials to post!!!! Honestly the only reason I stopped yesterday was because I ran out of thread! ;-D So I will start posting a DIY/Tutorial post once a week.

Also, we have gotten bored with our meals that we do. So much so that most nights it's a struggle to come up with a meal that's fast, easy and relatively inexpensive. So in my quest for new food, I will scour Pinterest and Food Gawker for new recipes. If they work out, I will make sure to share! I have a family recipe all ready to share! If you like pasta and bacon, this is a recipe for you!

So that's the plan! Hopefully I can stick to it! Check out below for a preview of some tutorials to come!

Irks and Quirks 4/23/12

Ok, so since the other page is still under construction; i.e. - I have yet to find the time or the energy to come up with a header and figure out the scheme so that I may launch it, I will still be posting here on occasion so that I can get things off my chest. Here is my first random post of April, and I think the new year, under the title of Irks and Quirks.

Quirk - So last week was my first full week of working out hard. I did Insanity's and BodyRocked and even over the weekend at my folks we pulled weeds, walking a lot and generally sweated our butts off in the heat. So today was the weigh in....wah wah wah. Needless to say that scale almost took a flight into the public pool. I know I know....results don't happen overnight, but its hard to get a little anxious when you have been working SO HARD! Sigh......I will continue to push myself onto bigger and better things. Fitness isn't a quick fix, but a lifetime process.

Irk - There are (2) regarding one topic. Last week we received a Save the Date to a wedding in the summer.....first of all I pulled it out of the mailbox and it looked like somebody had let their dog chew on it for a bit. It was torn and wrinkled and almost unreadable. Great job USPS! You really got a handle on things over there! Carefully I opened the envelope to receive the mail. I perused over it and right in the middle of the description....miss spelled words! Gah! A person spent all this time and energy to make it perfect and didn't spell check before sending it out to print! That's a pet peeve of mine. Poor spelling/using the wrong word.

Quirk - The family quilt's have been an irk of mine as of recent because some of us....about 6...actually get the blocks done within a reasonable amount of time. However that's neither here nor there. My mom and I are making a quilt for a wedding that is using the same pattern as one she just finished putting together. We're taking the leftover fabric and combining it with 4 other prints to make a whole new look. Unfortunately with 100 blocks in the main body of the quilt alone, its gonna take sometime. Like we did with the last wedding gift we made jointly....I will be taking half the blocks home and sewing them. Need to get that fabric cut and ready to assemble! Lots of work ahead.

Irk - The weather. What is up California? It was almost 100 degrees over the weekend and come today (Monday) just 24 hours later its in the 60s and raining. I know its spring, but I wish it would make up it's mind so I can at least dress appropriately for work!

Quirk - Things have been much better with me on the emotion front. If you didn't know, I was on a slow downward spiral into depression and it was going out of control. Days of extreme sadness and not wanting to get out of bed. It started in late October of last year, gradually got worse through the holidays and continued through January. It wasn't until February that I finally  realized what was going on and decided to take a stance against the wallowing. I took a deep look into myself and decided that I needed to focus on myself, my marriage and my family. I had neglected all of those and they needed repair. Once I pinpointed my issues; which a lot circled around the death of my father, my grief, and other things, I decided to step back and really view my actions and how they may or may not be perceived. Facebook, while a great tool for reconnecting with family and old friends, had turned into a source of major stress. I majorly stepped back from it and have reveled in the break. Granted I still go on and post, but not nearly as much as I used to. Frankly, I know that most people don't care...so I go to keep up with family and close friends but that's about it. I also tried to step back from blogging a little to. With the exception of my 10 year anniversary posts for D and I. All of these things helped me to gain a little perspective and take a breather. Focus on myself and my healing. The anniversary was last weekend, and although the day was very hard; I find that as time passes it does get easier to deal with. As long as I have my support (D and my family) I can do anything! Since I survived that first major hurdle of the first anniversary, I feel like things get lighter and lighter on my shoulders. I am taking the time to do little things for myself and for D, and also spending time and getting acquainted with old friends and new. JP, TL and AM have been instrumental in getting my head back to where it belongs, and I owe them a great deal of credit as well.

That's whats been rolling around in this big ole noggin. Stay tuned for the next installment of Irks and Quirks!

Re-visit

I have been going back through my old blog posts and just re-reading the things that I have wrote about. It seems that the basis of why I started this blog has been skewed a little. I began this as a way to get my thoughts out of my head and away so that I don't sit and stew on them. Now it seems I write mostly about the fun things that happen in my life; events, crafts and photography because I don't want to offend or bore any of my readers.

With all that I have been through in the past year; all the ups, downs, and challenges I have faced I still feel the need to continue to write it all out. However, certain things that I want to write and get out are not things that anyone wants to read. I tend to vent to my husband and my mother a lot and sometimes its just because I need it off my chest, but that is a huge burden that they shouldn't have to carry. I feel like I am being my typical self. Crawling into my shell and the guard being up high.

I feel like some days I am lost. Wondering what my purpose is supposed to be. I thought because I had skills that my purpose is to be helpful and creative with others, but sometimes I don't feel like the things I do are appreciated in the way I intend them to be. I still love to be creative as still fully intend on doing things that make my creative brain happy. But it will be for me, things I enjoy doing and if I feel like doing for others then I will. The hubbs doesn't understand my need to keep occupied, I seem to get addicted to one thing or another and have to follow it through. He appreciates it and loves how whole heartedly I do everything. I am glad that I have him and he (along with my mom) is my support system.

I have been reaching out to old friends. Those from high school that have matured but haven't lost what I liked about them. Most have changed in the fact that they have children or have moved away, but in a way I think a larger social circle might do me and my over thinking brain some good. We have as a couple expanded our social circle as well. Surrounding yourself with people that make you feel happy is the best way to get you out of a funk, which I for sure am in. Although I said I wouldn't have high hopes that this year would be better, I am always the eternal optimist in my own head. Hoping that things will be different. Well, it has not started off any better and even though I have some things to deal with I will hold my head high and be strong. Being there for those that need me, in good times and bad.

This year is already looking to be a big one again. 3 weddings, 1 baby shower and we are celebrating 10 years together and 5 years married. With all this to look forward to along with many of the other things already in the works, I can't help but feel a little apprehensive. Feeling like I am standing along the edge watching everyone else live their lives and I am stuck in a holding pattern. Waiting for it to move again. They say that things happen for a reason and I do believe that. However I want my husband and I to be able to have what we desire. Kids, home. I guess we will have to stop wanting it so much, and maybe it will come to us. Just a thought.

I got off on a tangent of thought process here. I guess the point I am trying to say is I have re-visited the thought of this blog. I will continue to write about the fun things; events, crafts and photography, but I think in addition to this I will need to write in a separate place all the other things that float around in my head. Things that I don't want on the world wide web. This will be a place of showcase and happy thoughts! And every now and then, maybe I will sneak in something reflective!

Happy Reading

Scrambled Eggheads!

That is exactly how my brain feels. A lot going on in it and mushed all together that is resembles a scrambled egg.. So my apologies for my scrambled thoughts.

I feel like I am being pulled in a hundered directions. Everybody wants me to be there for them or do something for them. I have this bad habit of trying to make everyone around me happy. I am "The Fixer." I put all my time and effort into things, don't get me wrong I love to do it, but sometimes I would just like to have a little bit of control and not somebody constanltly looking over my shoulder and wanting more. Give me a little bit of credit and know that I am not going to slap some piece of crap together and give it to you. It seems like today people have less and less faith in one another. The theory "to get it done right, I'll just do it myself." Yes I am guilty of this too....but I also know my limits. However if time and time again prove that I am capable of doing something, then for crying out loud LET ME DO IT! I guess I need to just take the time for me every so often to keep my sanity!

I truly need to start a fashion police list. I need to keep a pen and paper with me at all times and write some of this stuff down! It's just comical! I mean yesterday I was sitting at a restaraunt outside and more then half the people that walked by me must have "forgot" to check the mirror. I mean from WAY to tight jeans that resembled a breakfast item (were talking "muffin" top here) and a "dressy" version of gym clothes. I mean your leggings tucked into knee high boots and and scarf over your tank top does not make you a fashionista. Don't get me started on the crocs, or Ugg boots....I mean if your feet are cold enough to wear those then you should wear pants and a long sleeve shirt. Not a cut off mini skirt and a tank. Your sending mixed messages!

Week 2 at the gym was interesting. I mean when you completely burn out a muscle group that is completely shaking when your done you think to yourself "hmmmm probably gonna suffer for this tomorrow." Well yes, I am thoroughly exhausted when I get home, take a shower and crash. It feels so good. However, the next morning when I think I am going to be suffering, I am sore for about 2 hours then I am good for the rest of the day. Then I think to myself, should I up the weight? Naw! It's just week 2 can't burn out my muscles out yet, but it's truly interesting to see the change already. No I'm not a model yet, but I can see the little flab on the belly trimming down and my dancer legs are starting to return! YAY! You know what they say, muscle has memory. It probably helps that I have cut way back on the soda and the sweets while at work. Stay tuned.

Sorry for the rambling....just needed to get some of it out. Looking forward to my weekend at Disney and seeing some family and our Goddaughter! I'll leave you with a little thing to make you smile!