Onward - A new place to live

There isn't a bumpdate today because we spent the entire weekend packing and moving out of our little one bedroom apartment. It was an emotional weekend (preggo hormones mixed with exhaustion) but we made it. The bumpdate will be postponed until I can get to doing the chalkboard. Hopefully it will be up on Wednesday. Why are we moving? Rent.....it's outrageous in L.A. With the economy increasing, so are the rent prices and honestly we cannot afford to keep living with the extravagant prices, especially with a baby on the way. So we packed up our apartment into a 10x15 storage unit and moved in with my in-laws to start sacking away some money for a house. It's a sacrifice that we decided would be worth it in the long run for our growing family. Is it an ideal situation? Of course not. Will we make the best out of the situation. Definitely. I say that this move was emotional on many levels. We have grown so much as a couple living in this apartment, and I have grown leaps and bounds as a person as well. This apartment has seen a lot of sadness, from the loss of my father; to our ectopic pregnancy. We had the thunderstorm incident here as well. It also witnessed our greatest joy, finally becoming pregnant with our first child. We have grown closer and have fallen even more in love here. It has by far been my most favorite place we have lived. Not because of the location, or the actual complex itself. It was the layout, our neighbors and just the feeling that we had there.

I figured I would give you a little peak into our world. People say to me all the time, "Your a designer? You probably have a beautiful home!" Well as we all know, creating a beautiful home costs money. And being a designer causes me to have expensive taste. So while I think our home is comfy and cozy, its really full of hand-me-downs mixed in with a couple of pieces that we have purchased ourselves. A lot of these photo's are from when we first moved in, so the don't include our new to us recliners or our new comforter that I made (post to come) but you can see how we spent the majority of our three years living in this apartment.

Here's our main living space. We no longer have those wing chairs or that gigantic projection tv, we added curtains to the windows after our first heat blasting summer as well. We love our storage chests and I love our hand-me-down sofa as well (regardless of how ugly it is underneath that slipcover!)

Our dining room is something that was new to our old apartment. I love our countertop table with chairs cause Miss Shelby cannot get her head on it! We had a little mini bar set up and a wine rack also. That photo of the tree with the sunset was taken by my great hubby and I blew it up and framed it for him. You can see it larger here.

Our apartment kitchen....complete with a martini theme.....although most of the time it was just a mess! It's a kitchen!

Our bedroom that doubled as an office. This is where the blog posts were composed....it was also the dumping ground for when people came over. The bookcase got moved into our closet last year and we bought another dresser from Ikea. You can really see my love for teal and grey in our bedding. Baby girl is probably going to have a teal, pink and grey nursery.....that's how much I love it!

Here's our balcony. It was perfect to eat dinner or have a cocktail after work on hot summer days and it overlooked the pool and a wonderful piece of grass. The hubby always bbq'd out here as well.

There you have it....a look into our home for the last three years. Bittersweet, but in the end it will be worth it! Happy St. Patties Day!!

A change of address?

Ever since Thanksgiving of last year Darin and I have been mulling around with the thought of moving out of state. We have always thought that we would never stay in Southern California, but many things have kept us here. My job, family, security. I have a wonderful job that heavily appreciates family time, which is rare in my business. I am an only child so it would be very hard for me to leave my mom and the rest of my family. And the fact that I have lived here in southern California my whole life, could I adjust to another place? There are just too many what if's that are out there. I was watching the movie "Letter's to Juliet" last night, I know not really in relevance, and happened upon a quote "'What' and 'If' are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life." There have been many things that have happened in the recent past that have made me think, is life too short to stay? Do we need to have an adventure, get lost in the world, and really become a couple without the security blanket? We haven't even scratched the surface of life. I have traveled, but not like I would truly want to. I want to start a family but fear that we will never be financially secure in this state. Housing prices, taxes, cost of living. It all keeps going up and up. I know that this is just the part of life that we have hit a financial plateau. It happens to everyone, but my fear is that we will get stuck here without any opportunity for real growth.

I had always said that I didn't believe that I would have the guts and tenacity to run my own business, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have far too much ambition to stay in the same position for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, I just sometimes feel that I am not given enough responsibilities and the opportunities to learn, make mistakes and grow. I understand that with the recession every company needs to minimize their overhead and have as few mistakes as possible. I just feel that I could soar if I am given that responsibility.

Then there is the family. For the most part, our families and friends are all here in Southern California. However with the exception of a very minimal few, we don't see the majority except for on very rare occasions. I understand that it is a part of life. To grow apart, find who you are, and become independent entities. I know that wherever we may go that the one's that truly care to see us will visit and we can always come back to visit. The other thing that I fear is being far from my mother. When I become a mother, I want her nearby to be able to help me pass on the good qualities like she did for me. There is a true bond between us and she is one of my best friends. But then I think to myself, she had the adventure. She lived in Spain for years while my father was in the Air Force and after I was born moved to Florida. She was far from her family and was forced to make her own decisions and fly. Darin desperately wants this for us and who am I to tell him no if it will be good for our relationship. He wants to find a sense of self, something he doesn't feel he can find in Southern California, or at least the SCV.

Back to the security blanket. Well there isn't much here for me except for the mild weather. Yes I love the beach, and there is much culture to experience here, but as I listed above there are many negatives to living in this state. Not to mention the vast need for attention, self involvement, and material nature of most people that have lived here for more than 5 years. Not everywhere is like that, but for the most part....what you see on TV is correct! I long for a simpler life. One where what you have isn't the most important thing, but your character and how you live your life is. I am tired of the "All about me" disease that has invaded my life. Not everyone is like this, but a vast majority is. Makes me want to just crawl into our hole and stay put.

I know that my life wont be drastically different in another place, but the thought of having to make it on my own, without the security blanket makes me optimistic and terrified at the same time. Life is the good and the bad all rolled into one and our job is to deal with it the best way we know how. To make mistakes and learn from them, to experience joy and sorrow, but most of all to live.