Let's get this sorted out

Ok you might recall my post from last year regarding things of a womanly nature. Well since then things have gotten progressively better, but they are not by all means normal. When I went to the doctor last year, she told me to go get some blood work done. When she got the results she told me some information that means I will just have irregular cycles because of the make-up of my body. The only way to regulate them is to either, lose weight (I am not heavy, but could spare 5 pounds) or to go on birth control. Well since the second option will defeat the purpose of why I went off it to begin with, that seemed highly unlikely. So I decided to start working out. Since then, and since a lot of the stress that I was dealing with has fallen off, I have noticed everything even out. I did have one month of normality for pre B.C. Christmas Day, early at 3AM I awoke to utter and sheer pain. Shaking, vomiting, you name it there it was. The hubbs was just holding me while I lied on the bathroom floor holding the trash can. Afterwards he looked at me and said, "Wow. I have never seen you in so much pain." Well that used to be a monthly occurrence and I was hoping to never have it back.

Since 2010, I have had spouts of 40 days to as little as 21 days and it's driving me nuts. I thought that my spikes in emotions were due to my father's death and the mourning process, which I am sure still is the case on some points. Considering that I pushed most of my feelings aside to focus on other things. Since my focus has been returned, I have noticed the waves of emotions even more. I am either really happy or completely sad/angry/irritated. Now, is this because of my depression or is it because of something else? I don't know. Sometimes I feel at any second that I am going to burst into tears. It's really weird. No I am not preggers, I'm pretty sure.

I have done a lot of research. I know that for some people coming off B.C. can take a long time and some people wait years for their cycles to normalize. I also know that severe stress can cause this irregularity too. But there is the thought in the back of my head that there is an underlying problem. Endometriosis runs in my family and so do miscarriages. I figured with all that has been going on with my body lately that I would make the appointment and just get everything sorted out. So that's my task today. Hopefully it will all get figured out and I will have some answers! Stay tuned.

11 Random Things

As I was perusing my dashboard I came across this post from The Simple Dude. Apparently there is a game going around on the net, whether it is twitter, facebook or blogging where if you are tagged in a post then you must answer pre-set questions that the tagger has designated for you and post 11 random facts as well. Although I wasn't tagged, I thought it was an intriguing idea and I liked the questions that were posed. I am not going to tag people in it, but if you choose to play the game then the directions are below.

The Rules:

1. Post these rules

2. You must post 11 random things about yourself

3. Answer the questions set for you in the post you were tagged in

4. Create 11 new questions for your tagees to answer

5. Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or your blog (or all of the above)

11 Random Facts:
1.  I hate salsa....I know its weird. I love tomato's and pasta sauce, but there is something about the spices in salsa that I despise.
2. I love fireplaces. Sitting in front of them with a cup of hot chocolate makes me feel so good. It's the best feeling and it reminds me of home. (Yes even in 100 degree heat I love them!)
3. I am a craft addict. I love finding new and creative things to do. It's also a nice thing to do with family or friends! Also party planning is so fun cause you can incorporate those crafts.
4. I have lived in 2 states (CA and FL) and 2 countries (USA and Spain {in utero, but it counts to me!})
5. I like puzzle books, the fill-in kind. I find them all over our apartment and buy a new one pretty much every time I go on an airplane.
6. As much as I say I am not ready for kids, its just an act....I really want them, like now!
7. I hate it when people say one thing to my face, and do another.
8. I could live in another state or country. I am ready for a change, just so long as my mom comes with! :-)
9. I am extremely sensitive, and am easily hurt by actions, or words. When I feel threatened I close up and become emotionally unavailable.
10. I am sentimental over memories, not objects. I hate clutter. I keep things for a while and they either get donated to the round file or Goodwill. We love photos, those are our memories. We have over 10,000 just from the last 5 years!
11. I like to be organized, although I am not always, I strive to have a place for everything and it all put AWAY!

The Questions:
1. If you were stuck on a deserted island, who would you want to be stuck with?
Of course I would want my hubby and my parents. We can survive without anything else......except for maybe facebook. Will my blackberry work there? Or with on of those "guy guys, you know, those guys with skills. Yeah. You send them into the wilderness with a pocket knife and a Q-tip and they build you a shopping mall." - Six Days Seven Nights (Not a jab at my hubbys skills....I love that movie and quote this line when talking about deserted islands!)

2. What is your favorite foreign film? (it has to have subtitles to qualify)
I have only watched a few and I wouldn't call any of them a favorite.

3. When you hear the word “intimacy” what does it mean to you?
Being able to open yourself up completely to another human being. Physically and emotionally. You can only be completely intimate with a person who truly understands who you are as a whole person. Most people only get certain parts of you.

4. Have you ever met someone randomly and ended up spending a super fun day with them? When? (If you feel like sharing, please do)
Yes, on our honeymoon. We met a couple in the hotel lobby on our way to the cruise ship. We spent most of our days shopping and enjoying their company. We still talk to this day even though we live 3000 miles away.

5. If you were to have an erotic dream about someone, celebrity, real person or whatever, who/what would it be?
I tend to not remember my dreams. I sleep very heavy so I am either in a deep sleep or awake.

6. Where’s the furthest you’ve traveled? What’s your favorite destination of the one’s you’ve been to? Why?
London England is the farthest away I have traveled. 12 hour flight and no sleep....super fun. My favorite place that I have been to has to be Ireland. Even though I was so sick while I was there, I enjoyed the people and the atmoshpere so much. I also did things that I never thought I would do in my life there! Best memories of my high school career!

7. What’s your favorite moment of 2012 so far?
This one is hard because I have yet to do much of anything this year. Probably either celebrating my god-daughters first birthday, or reconnecting with an old friend. We had a great lunch and just talked about all the things we have missed the last 10 years.

8. Your favorite tv show?
Sex and the City. I can watch them over and over and still laugh.

9. What’s the last book you read?
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson. Now onto The Girl Who Played with Fire. I still need to see Tattoo the movie.

10. What is the first thing you think of when someone asks you “what are you grateful for?”?
I am grateful for everything. I have no regrets for how my life has turned out. All the things that have happened in my life, whether they were good or bad, have taught me something, or brought someone into my life. I love my family most of all. My little family of three as well as my extended blood relatives and friends. Those that stick around even when things are hard and that's what I am grateful for the most.

11. Have you ever been to San Francisco? If so, what’s the most favorite thing you’d want someone to do if they went for the first time?
I have never been there, but would love to go see the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. 

Mom's are a girls best friend

I believe this is so. Anything can happen in your life and as a girl most of the time you can turn to her and she will be there with open arms of comfort, support, laughter, tears, and just awesomeness. Well I have this. My mom is my best friend. I love her so much and am glad that I was blessed to have her in my life. On this day, we celebrate her birthday. Last night the hubbs and I planned to make the hour drive into Rosamond to surprise her for dinner. My dad didn't tell her where he was taking her and when she walked into the restaurant and saw us, her face said it all. I am glad that we were able to surprise her and have a wonderful meal to celebrate her!

One of my favorite memories of my mom of all time is when we lived in Lancaster. We had all been outside washing the cars and she took the hose and lightly squirted my dad with a little water. Little did she know what an all out water war this was going to cause. My dad picked up the bucket filled with the dirty car water and dumped it on top of her. She then chased him around with the hose until he ran into the house, thinking that she would stop because he was inside. Nope, she took that hose and full blast hit him with a stream of water, inside the house. No harm no foul because it was just water, but it was the funniest thing I can remember. That's who she is. Silly, but can be serious when the time calls for it. She is the best of both worlds! I loved her being there for me and helping me plan the wedding. Our time spent while crafting and I am looking forward to the bond that we will have when we begin our family.

I hope that her day is filled with wonderful wishes of happiness and an outpouring of love and memories! Happy Birthday to my wonderful momma! Can't wait to see you again soon! <3

Somebody....Gotye

 Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)

(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody

Subway Art Vday Style

Here's a look at the Subway Art that I created for our home! :-)

And of course the beautiful flowers that my husband brought home! :-)

Things that go up, must come down

For those of us who are coming out of our euphoric state of love from Valentine's Day, we think ahead to next year and what we might do for our loved ones then. I was the same way, thinking about my husband in loving, adoring ways and how great things are between us.

However, I tend to come back to reality and realize the bigger picture. All the things people have to deal with on a daily basis and the trials that they face. I received a text message from my step mom today. "Today I married the man of my dreams, your loving daddy. Loving and longing for my hubby." Brought me right back to her and my heart just aches. I have this desire to help her, to make her feel better, but I know that all I can do is be there for her in spirit and when she needs me via phone or social network. I guess all there is to do is wish her a happy anniversary and to remind her to think of all the great years she shared with him; anniversaries, birthday's, holidays, and Valentines Day's. I just want her to know that I understand her pain and I love her. She will always have him in memories and through his blood. (me) I love her so much, and she is my family always.

Happy Anniversary! I love you to bits!

Winter Wonderland

Today, as I had my furlough day, I hung out with our pup all day and listened to the rain as it lightly fell outside my window. It was one of those days in which you enjoy being indoors with the ones you love. Unfortunately my hubbs had work so it was just us redheads in the house.

While we had raindrops, just 60 miles north at my parents home in Tehachapi they got a wild winter wonderland storm. As she was texting me photos I found myself wanting to go and play childlike in it. Go sledding and making snow angels. Hopefully they will get another storm so that the hubbs and I can go up and drink hot chocolate and play like children. Looking forward to that! :-)

A little something

Ok so even though the hubbs and I don't typically do things for Vday, I thought that I would be a loving and adoring wife and pick him up a little something special just because. Nothing big, just some things that he loves wrapped up special with a handmade bow! Hopefully he enjoys them! Teehee!

Something Silly

The hubbs and I have never been huge Vday people. We feel like its a "Hallmark" holiday in which you acknowledge your loved ones on this one day of the year. Well we try to tell each other that we love one another on a daily basis, and do special things that only we share. It shouldn't only be on this one day. So Vday to us is just another day. Yes, we tend to buy into the hype and get each other cards or flowers and candy, but we don't usually do anything special per say on the actual day with the exception of making a special dinner or seeing a movie together. It's just another excuse for us to celebrate and have a date night. This being said we don't usually put out decorations for it either. However since my recent involvement with Pinterest and Crawftgawker I found some really cute Vday inspiration so I decided to decorate our apartment for the occasion. Just a little sillyness to spice everything up. With construction paper hearts and mirror writing it feels like love in our home! :-) (Unfortunatley the construction paper in our bathroom curled from the steam so I had to remove them, but other then that everything is still up for the holiday) Of course since I am now obsessed with them I made a Vday subway art as well! We find it festive and still plan to do up the holiday our own way. Intimate and special for us! Hope you all have a wonderful day! <3

Blessed by the shoe fairy!

As most women are, I am obsessed with shoes! I mean its one accessory that you wear everyday! However since the beginning of last year, when our financial situation took a turn for the worst, I haven't bought any new shoes. It's so depressing to look in my closet and to see my shoes fall into such deterioration! I wear the same 3-4 pair of shoes, EVERYDAY! They are starting to look like they need to go into the dumpster! :-(

Over the weekend I was spending time with my in-laws. My M.I.L. said that she just recently cleaned out her closets and has 2 large trash bags of items for donations. Including shoes! Now we don't have the same exact size foot, but depending on the shoe I can wear anything from a 7 to an 8. I asked her if it was alright if I went through her donations before she sent them off to see if any of the shoes fit, and then I can have new stuff for work. She agreed. Well when my husband came home with a giant black trash bag full of shoes I was shocked. I took my time going through each pair. Trying each on and of course having a mini runway show in my bedroom for my husband. (who could really care less) I was bummed when some didn't fit, but I ended up with 12 pairs ranging in work wear, boots, sandals and evening! SCORE! I was like a kid in a candy store excited!

There were some Jessica Simpson, alas which didn't fit, and some Carlos Santana which did! So now I have some designer shoes, to go with my new bag from my mom, and my thrifty wardrobe! Lol. Oh well it's who I am. I don't splurge on myself and this way I don't have to have buyers remorse for spending a ton of money. I don't mind second hand and my M.I.L. takes great care of her stuff! YES!

The thing I have splurged on recently is a new watch. Now I have 2 other watches, but one the battery is dead and the other one needs a link taken out of it. So while at Downtown Disney this past weekend we made a trip into the Fossl store. I stumbled upon a simple white watch with a silicone strap that was super lightweight and perfect for work. I had some Christmas money left over so I decided to buy it. I am glad I did because I love it! So elegant and easy to wear with almost anything. I can also change out the straps to coordinate with other outfits. Next trip down there I will probably buy the black one!

Well that's some of the exciting things in my world. Whew. Did think that I could handle that much excitement! Hey but you know what they say, it's the simple things in life right? What simple things get you excited?

Shelby and the Cruciate Ligament

This post may sound like something straight out of Harry Potter. Alas it is not.

Ever since we moved, Shelby's (our 3 and a half year old Rhodesian Ridgeback) separation anxiety has progressively gotten worse. We decided, after door frames, torn carpet and anxiety meds....that she should go to doggy day care. My mother-in-law is usually home during the day so we asked her if it was ok if Shelby spent the daytime there so that she can have a safe, and most of the time supervised, environment outside. This past Monday I was playing with Shelby on our bed. After I walked away I heard a loud thud and when I returned I saw our poor baby lying on the floor. She had fallen off! I had her get up, and walk around but I didn't notice anything wrong. I kept an eye on her, but only a little favoring of her hind side came from it, so I thought that she was just sore. On Thursday, the hubbs was playing with her and we went outside and she wanted to run, so we let her run her little heart out. We finished our evening and went to bed. Friday we awoke and didn't notice any discomfort in her so he took her over to his parents and off to work we went.

At 1PM Linda (M.I.L) informed us that she was limping really bad, and wasn't putting any weight on her leg. Crap. She called my sister-in-law, who is in vet school, for a recommendation. After informing her all the particulars she recommended that we take her to the vet for a check up and x-ray. Our vet just so happens to own the clinic and is a family member. So I made an appointment to see him. Once we arrived, despite hardly any limping, (my M.I.L. and I were joking that she was faking for attention) we described her symptoms and he went to work. He told us a number of things that could be wrong, but that we should get an x-ray just to check and make sure that there was nothing wrong with her hips, back, or broken bones. Once x-rayed he came in to tell us that she had nothing was broken and her hips and back are fine. Whew! He then said that we need to watch out for her Cruciate ligament, which is the ligament inside the knee. If that ligament is ripped, then it means surgery. Yikes. Hopefully it's just a pulled muscle, but we have pain meds and are watching her carefully. No running or craziness for the pup for a bit. Our poor baby! We are hoping for a speedy recovery. She already feels normal and wants to jump and play, but we are airing on the side of caution as she is still babying that leg!