My Big Fat Redneck Vacation

Its been way too long past this vacation and I figured that I needed to blog about our trip to Florida before we go on our next trip in a couple of weeks. So here we go.

In March we made our annual trip to visit my step mom in Florida. We had a JAM PACKED trip. It started off with the worst red eye I have ever been on! Our flight left at 11pm PST and was scheduled to arrive in FL at 6 AM EST. If was so turbulent that everytime the hubs and I fell asleep we were jolted awake again. We managed to make it to the house and got a nap in before the family arrived for a mini reunion. It would have been wonderful to see everyone on a full nights sleep, but was able to make the best of it. Grandparents, cousins, nieces/nephews, Aunts, Uncles, and family friends all came over for snacks, drinks and family time. It was super nice to see everyone.

The next day we made our way to the store to get junk food, because my step mom insists that we have everything that we want when we are there. We also went to the cemetery to visit my father and then went and had chicken wings in honor of him. We rode horses almost everyday we were there and D has gotten so much better at controlling the horses! He's becoming a real rider. My step mom's friend came over and brought his guns with him. An AK-47 and a Rueger 45. We went to the pile of logs in the backyard shooting range and gave those bad boys a whirl. The AK was fun, but super heavy....my arm was shaking after 4 clips, but the Rueger had such a large kick that I didn't hit anything. Poo.....we of course had to take the obligatory gun shot (I posed with the rifle! DUH!)

Day three was spent shopping for my mom and I, and D went with A to fix some vehicles and drink beer. We all hopped in the car and made our way to St. Pete beach for sea food, cocktails and the beach. It was a beautiful night, we played some games, and strolled on the beach. Funny thing, we were walking along the beach and I asked D to jump and in the air like he was excited....he jumped straight up. I just about died while taking the photo.

We rode more horses, and D even got to ride a mini motorcycle. A introduced D to the show Sons of Anarchy and ever since this trip he has been obsessed with motorcycles! Our last full day we went to a drag race called the Gator Nationals. We caravaned while the boys rode their Harley's and picked up my cousin along the way. we had such a blast watching the power of the those vehicles. When they took off they shook the stands and through your body.

After such an eventful trip its always hard to say goodbye to Florida and my mom. Eventually we will be closer to one another and be able to see each other more than once a year. Why was this post called my big fat redneck vacation? Because we rode horses, shot guns, went to drag races, drank beer, ate bbq....honestly all we needed to do was go fishing and drink some moonshine! It was a blast and I love our visits!

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The Door

This week has been hard for me. It is the culmination of the hardest year I have had to face in my entire life. I have had to re-examine my priorities and dig deep into my soul. I will post another about all that, but this post has a specific context. My step mom challenged us to do many things on this anniversary, the anniversary of my dad's death. To listen to his cd that he wrote and produced. To lift a glass in his honor and to share a memory with those that knew him and those that didn't. There are so many memories that I could share, and have shared already in previous posts. I decided to share one of D's favorites. He knew him the shortest, but they formed a bond instantly. My dad respected him, and loved him dearly.

In 2008 we went to visit Florida. The trip was to be a full one, with Thanksgiving being that week and plans to do many things. On the agenda; Disney World, The Club, The Abbey, Thanksgiving dinner, horseback riding and many chores around the property. Our trip to Disney World was a blast. After being there a short 12 hours, we packed up smaller overnight bags and jumped in the car to make the hour and a half drive into Orlando. We checked into our hotel and made little inside jokes about the hot rock spa treatment that they had pictured everywhere. It was pretty funny that every time my dad found a loose rock, he placed it on his back and made a serene and relaxed face, to show how well rocks can make you relaxed. We put down our luggage, and took a tour of the property. Then we went to buy our tickets for the park the next day and get ready for dinner, after a few cocktails of course. We went to a wonderful dinner and had some amazing conversation. The next day we took the shuttle into Epcot. I enjoyed the park, but we were there too early to drink the beers of every country. We went onto a couple of rides learned some things and took some pictures. Mission to Mars was the ride of the day, not because it was particularly the best, but the funniest story. We were in line and we came to a point that was a warning and you had to decide which intensity of the ride you were going to choose. Well me being a chicken I immediately went into the tame side, with my dad right behind me. D looked at us and said, "I wanna go in the intense side." My stepmom, being adventurous said that she would go with him. Since our chicken side was shorter, dad and I got on and off the ride pretty quickly so we had to wait. When they finally came off, Daryl look green. She told D that she would only go on that for him, but that she probably would never go on it again. Soon after we parted ways and D and I took the monorail into The Magic Kingdom (I.E. Disneyland of Florida) which, to those that go to the original all the time, it wasn't worth it, but it was an experience that we shared.
 

Once back to the house we did many things. Hikes around the property, went and had the best chicken wings on the earth at The Abbey, had dinner with the neighbors Jeff and Stacy at the club, Thanksgiving dinner at Lady and Ashleigh's home and of course D's first riding lesson. He had been on trail rides before, but let's be serious, those horses are trained to follow the butt in front. So we put him in the saddle and Daryl told him how to use the reigns and him legs to control speed and direction. I rode around a bit, but was super rusty. We wandered around the property, chain-sawing dead trees, picking up sticks and mowing the property getting ready for a burn pile. D's favorite thing is the burn pile. Big giant bonfire in the middle of the property.  

The thing that D remembers the most is going into the garage with my dad and him showing how he makes furniture. He taught him how to use all the machines and together they made a door. Not very big, maybe 18" x 24." But my dad showed him how to miter corners, how to plane, sand and stain it. He walked in proud of himself and said that we were bringing it home. I thought to myself "how on earth are we bringing that home." Well I am glad we did, because now D has a memory and a piece of him always.

So there you have it, a memory to keep with us always. The year has been hard. Emotionally I have been a wreck and have tried to get back on track. I am working my way there. All I can do is keep him always in my heart. When I listen to music or play an instrument, remember who gave me the love. Laugh when I can, cry when I need. Just remember that he is looking down upon me smiling.

R.O.S     I.L.Y.T.B!



Note: I want to thank everyone who has stuck by my this year. To my husband and my parents, you are my rock and support that I stand on. My sounding board, my smile, and my mirror. Everything good I owe to you. You show me who I am, and who I can become. I am not perfect, nobody is, and all I can do is look forward and grow.  

To my friends. Thank you for those who have stuck by my side. Life isn't easy, and sometimes we get lost trying to manage. The lighthouse of friendships has made my journey easier as I navigate my way through the murkiness. These people I speak to you have blessed me with your support and understanding and I thank you always for that! 

Love you all!

A change of address?

Ever since Thanksgiving of last year Darin and I have been mulling around with the thought of moving out of state. We have always thought that we would never stay in Southern California, but many things have kept us here. My job, family, security. I have a wonderful job that heavily appreciates family time, which is rare in my business. I am an only child so it would be very hard for me to leave my mom and the rest of my family. And the fact that I have lived here in southern California my whole life, could I adjust to another place? There are just too many what if's that are out there. I was watching the movie "Letter's to Juliet" last night, I know not really in relevance, and happened upon a quote "'What' and 'If' are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life." There have been many things that have happened in the recent past that have made me think, is life too short to stay? Do we need to have an adventure, get lost in the world, and really become a couple without the security blanket? We haven't even scratched the surface of life. I have traveled, but not like I would truly want to. I want to start a family but fear that we will never be financially secure in this state. Housing prices, taxes, cost of living. It all keeps going up and up. I know that this is just the part of life that we have hit a financial plateau. It happens to everyone, but my fear is that we will get stuck here without any opportunity for real growth.

I had always said that I didn't believe that I would have the guts and tenacity to run my own business, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have far too much ambition to stay in the same position for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, I just sometimes feel that I am not given enough responsibilities and the opportunities to learn, make mistakes and grow. I understand that with the recession every company needs to minimize their overhead and have as few mistakes as possible. I just feel that I could soar if I am given that responsibility.

Then there is the family. For the most part, our families and friends are all here in Southern California. However with the exception of a very minimal few, we don't see the majority except for on very rare occasions. I understand that it is a part of life. To grow apart, find who you are, and become independent entities. I know that wherever we may go that the one's that truly care to see us will visit and we can always come back to visit. The other thing that I fear is being far from my mother. When I become a mother, I want her nearby to be able to help me pass on the good qualities like she did for me. There is a true bond between us and she is one of my best friends. But then I think to myself, she had the adventure. She lived in Spain for years while my father was in the Air Force and after I was born moved to Florida. She was far from her family and was forced to make her own decisions and fly. Darin desperately wants this for us and who am I to tell him no if it will be good for our relationship. He wants to find a sense of self, something he doesn't feel he can find in Southern California, or at least the SCV.

Back to the security blanket. Well there isn't much here for me except for the mild weather. Yes I love the beach, and there is much culture to experience here, but as I listed above there are many negatives to living in this state. Not to mention the vast need for attention, self involvement, and material nature of most people that have lived here for more than 5 years. Not everywhere is like that, but for the most part....what you see on TV is correct! I long for a simpler life. One where what you have isn't the most important thing, but your character and how you live your life is. I am tired of the "All about me" disease that has invaded my life. Not everyone is like this, but a vast majority is. Makes me want to just crawl into our hole and stay put.

I know that my life wont be drastically different in another place, but the thought of having to make it on my own, without the security blanket makes me optimistic and terrified at the same time. Life is the good and the bad all rolled into one and our job is to deal with it the best way we know how. To make mistakes and learn from them, to experience joy and sorrow, but most of all to live.