Thoughts on Mother's Day

As Mother's Day approaches I find myself getting really emotional. Thought's run through my head thinking about my first official Mother's Day and the special meaning behind that day. In the past did I think of myself as a "mother" to our puppy, yes. Did I truly understand the meaning of that word until last year. Absolutely not. I did not officially become a Mother until July 1st 2014. It was the single most glorious and exhausting day of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world. If you'd like to read about Emma's fist days into the world please check out here and here. What I thought I would do is just write down my thoughts of what I think a Mother looks like, to me. How I choose to be a mother to Emma.

A mother thinks of her children first. I wake up in the morning and glance down at Emma as she nurses and I cannot wait for those beautiful blue eyes to open and for her to look up and smile at me. Her smile just makes my mornings so bright! I think of her all day long at work, and resist the urge to text a million times a day just to see how she is doing. When I pick her up, all I want is to snuggle, and cover her with hugs and kisses. Her meals are planned before mine, her sleep schedule is what matters more than me time and just watching her play is fun to me. My heart swells when she crawls over to sit in my lap, it fills with joy when she gives me the wettest of kisses and it just explodes when she buries into my shoulder to snuggle and hug me. Her little voice saying "mama" is the sweetest sound I can hear.

I think about the future. How I will raise her to be a responsible adult, a kind teen, and a fun loving child. I always want her to know how much I love her.....so much that it spills out of my eyes....on an almost weekly basis (hormones much?) I want her to feel secure with herself emotionally and physically. I want her to be fearless in her learning and ability to try new things, but I want her to be cautious as well, but not overly cautious.

I want her to be kind to her peers, to people from all walks of life, and to be respectful of the country she was born into. I hope she's a patriot and respectful of the world that she lives in. To be kind to the planet and all creatures in it.

I want her to know that the things I provided are not sacrifices. I housed her in my body for nine months, I embrace the changes to it and am glad that I can nourish her still with breastfeeding. Sleepless nights, snuggling and those nighttime feedings were/are totally worth it to make sure that she grows big and strong. The "me" time that I had is now "mommy and me" time and I wouldn't change it for the world.

My life has completely changed and for the better. I want to be a better person for her. To provide her with an example of a woman that she could become, a wife she can be, and a mom. I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I just would like to provide an example of a kind and respectful person. I find myself correcting how I do things or say things just to be a better example for her. I want to provide her with consistency and a happy household always.

I fear that I am rambling so, all I can say is that this Mother's Day I am blessed to be the mommy of a wonderfully beautiful baby girl and with all my heart I can't imagine my life to be any better right now. She is my life, she is my world, she is my everything.

Happy Mother's Day