I knew it was coming, lets get real.....but I feel like there comes a time with everyone when they realize that this is really happening! We started our labor and child raising classes last week. The instructor went around the room asking about us and what we are afraid of. Everyone but us claimed that they were afraid of something to do with pain or delivery of the child, and here we are having these little discussions about raising her and what kind of parents we are going to be. Being a good parent weighs heavy on our minds! So that being said, all that was before we got to watch "the video." Now, I never saw "the video" in high school. I had no idea what to expect....and while it was super mild, they showed digital renderings of what actually happens to your body during childbirth. I MAY be a little more nervous now! She also informed us that we should probably pre-register with the hospital any time from 28 weeks on.....well were past that so I guess that goes on the checklist!
Next thing that came up was our 30 week milestone. 30 weeks. 10 weeks to go. Do you know how long 10 weeks is? 68 days apparently according to my countdown app! 68 days! It just seems like we have more time! Everyday she gets more and more active in there and my belly gets bigger and bigger so I know the time is close, but the realization that we are barely two months out hit me hard!
The hubby and I have been seriously discussing getting a new car. I mean lets face it, a Mustang and a two door Pontiac are not going to cut it in the baby world. We have been test driving, researching and figuring out what our best option was going to be. We had always discussed that the Mustang would be the trade in, for two reasons. 1) it was worth more money to a dealership and 2) we have socked in WAY too much money in gas and repairs into that puppy that it was time for a more reliable car. Let me tell you that we had no intention of purchasing a car this weekend. We were going to get our final research in and then make our decision and hopefully utilize the Memorial Day sales. We made our way into GMC, fell in love with the Terrain and the rest was history. We are now the proud owners of an SUV! Say what? I feel like an adult most of the time, very responsible and always doing what's best for us as a couple. But this weekend it seemed like I was desperately holding on subconsciously to our lack of responsibility. I followed the hubby to the dealership to turn in his beloved sports car, which I have asked many many times if he was ok with. He just rubbed my belly and said this is my baby now, I don't need the car. (I know!!!! SOBS!) As I was following him in the car, he takes off one last time with that V8 beast and I lose it. Tears streaming down my face and sobbing uncontrollably the entire way to the dealership. Pregnancy hormones at its finest. Don't get me wrong, I love our new car. It's everything we need and will be great and reliable for little miss Emma. It's just hard to see someone give up something that was a part of him. He looked at me and said "I'm done with that, no more clutch, no more gas guzzling and I can always get another one later." With all that, let me introduce you to our beast! The GMC Terrain! Our first major purchase together as a couple! (After being together 12 years and married for almost 7!)
Please don't take any of this as a doubt that I want to be a mother. I am over the moon excited to be welcoming our baby girl into the world and that I have such an amazing partner to share all these experiences with. This is just my "come to Jesus" moment where I have a mild freak-out about becoming a mom and if I will be any good at it. Will I be able to provide everything that she needs, physically and emotionally. I love this wiggle worm in my tummy so much that I want to give her everything. I know that what I am experiencing is completely normal and I feel like I will be back to myself in a few days! I need to start a checklist of all the things left to do before D. Day and start working on getting those things completed and maybe the stress of it all will go away. Things still to do: Pack our hospital bags, pre-register at the hospital, finish our classes, have the baby shower, wash and organize all baby items, read at least one parenting book, workout.....there's a lot still on the list and I'm sure I am missing a ton! Thanks for sticking around and reading all this! It's all super exciting times, but highly overwhelming all at the same time!
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