Craniotomy

While I have many projects that I should be working on, including catching up on making our yearly photo books (instead of scrapbooking, I got onto photo websites and make my own little photo books for each year. Less time consuming and easier on my stress!) I just feel like putting some of my thoughts out there. First of all I want to thank everyone who reads these. It is very catatonic to me to be able to put thoughts out, and even though you don't always comment at lease I know that people are reading.

I have been feeling many waves of emotions lately and it has been racking with my hormones. I can be happy one moment and then irritated the next. (No, I'm not preggers. This is just how my body deals with stress.) As many of you know, my father has been suffering from a very aggressive brain cancer. He has been dealing with it remarkable well with daily chemotherapy and a research drug as well. After our visit in November he had his bi-monthly MRI and told the doctor that he was feeling very "cloudy" and couldn't comprehend what he was reading. In the scan they discovered some swelling and fluid in the area where the last tumor had been removed. He had to stop the research drug and be off it for 6 weeks before they could do the surgery to remove the fluid. Apparently this drug can cause complications during surgery. So on Friday 1-21-11 he went in to have another Craniotomy. While working on my father, the surgeon found that he did have another tumor and removed what he could. He cannot remove the entire tumor because he would be removing very important tissues. This is the brain we are talking about. But he was able to remove a 4x4x5 cm tumor. After the surgery the CT Scan showed the pressure that was placed on the brain had been reduced significantly. As for right now he is doing well and is still in recovery at the hospital. He will hopefully be able to go home tomorrow.

Not only have I been dealing with parental illness issues (which would stress anyone out) but I have been having to deal with memories of past event of friendships that ended. Its a part of life that you grow up, and grow out of your relationships with people. But when they end with really no sense of closure or reason (at least a legitimate one) it leaves you with a haunting feeling to contact them. I have been feeling this way for a long time. Darin and I had a friend that just dropped out of our lives and it still bothers us to this day. I have a feeling that the need to get into contact and hash out our issues is necessary whether or not it will help the situation. At least in the end we will have said our peace and have some closure. We have all had fights with friends, stopped talking and then reconnected again and become close again. Sometimes we just need to be adults and really get to the bottom of things. It wont be easy but I feel like its necessary. Next step, write the letter.

I have been trying to keep a positive outlook this year, but with inconclusive things looming all around us it makes it difficult. Maybe this year is to be our resolution year. Resolve any open issues that we may have with people and just be the people that we want to have around us. Sometimes that can be difficult. Especially when you have issues with certain people that you know are hard to speak to. I have been doing my best to include everyone in our lives into plans. I love everyone that has come into my life, or come back into my life. The phrase, "If you love something, set if free. If it comes back it was meant to be" is truly a statement that I strive to live by. Thank you to all the people who I love so dearly for being in my life! <3

Babies, Babies, Babies.

For years it seemed like the entire world, including me, was getting married. All my facebook friends were posting about their plans, wedding details, photos, and engagement stories. Now it seems like everyone I know is having babies! I know that this is the natural progression of life, but seriously? Its like I awoke one morning and poof! Pregger city! Everyday a new person is posting about their recent birth or conception. I guess you can say I am feeling the pressure (no not biologically speaking, although that is starting to alarm LOUD) but because I make things for my close friends special occasions and I am running out of TIME! My cousin Anthony and his wife Amy had their baby girl Charlotte Grace Dauro on Jan 16th (she is super cute, but I might be biased). We are throwing her a shower in March, because she was put on bed-rest due to complications. So I had to finish up a project for her. Also a very good friend of mine, whom I fell out of touch with, had her baby shower on the 16th so I had to finish up a project for her. (I was glad to see how pleased she was with it! It makes me feel so wonderful when I can give a gift that people truly love.)

Charlotte Grace Dauro  Jan 16, 2011

Bib for Baby Morr (Due Mar 11)

Finished bib for baby "Charlee" - Shhh its a surprise!

Not only do I have those done and ready to go, but I had 2 more close friends to start on. Miss Shannon is due on April 6th and her shower is looming and I have projects to finish for her. Also my friend Ashley is due in June. Not to mention 2 weddings (One in July and one in October, to which I am a bridesmaid in both and am going to do projects galore for them, including bridal showers and bachelorette parties) So if I seem slightly stressed out its probably due to that! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE doing this stuff, I just didn't think that it would happen all at once!:-/

Then the thought pops into my head.....when is it going to be my turn? I feel like I am out of a special club! I know I am not, but it seems like that gene that I thought I had been missing my whole life has finally kicked in. Here's to hoping it happens sooner rather than later. What a wonderful, interesting year 2011 is turning into!

Full Moon

What is it about a full moon? I never understood why only on this day of the month people have the weirdest mood swings. I mean I get that there is something to do with our gravitational pull as we orbit around the sun and such, but why aren't we used to it by now? Everything can be fine one moment, then bam! PMS city! Is it just me? Maybe I am just tired and notice it more, but it seems to me that every occurrence of a full moon turns normal people into a mood. Or maybe this is my reaction to the full moon. Who knows. Just a random thought for the day.

The Joys of Apartment Living

We all dream to one day grow up, have a family and live in a big beautiful house with a white picket fence and a dog. Well at least that is my dream. For the last 4 years it has seemed to just be a fantasy. Why? I live in Southern California. The real estate market took a dump in 2008 and when it was supposed to be "the best time for us to buy a home" all we found were foreclosures that had ZERO potential to be anything but a complete loss for the bank. Every year my husband and I make the trek out around our area to see what's available in our budget. Let me tell you, we have a decent budget.....for every other state in our country with the exception of New York! Our first year out we saw upwards of 30 condos and town-homes all in the upper $200k price range and they were all garbage. We went into one foreclosure that literally had no kitchen. The residents took out all the cabinetry, sinks, appliances, they took the pedestal sink and the toilet out too! Oh but they left the dryer in the garage. (yea thanks buddy just what I wanted a broken dryer that I will have to pay someone to take away!) Darin visited a foreclosure that had a foot of water in the kitchen! WHAT? The banks were asking $275-290K for these properties! It seemed like a loss so we decided to just stay where we were. Our one bedroom apartment, with our pup.

We have been content in our apartment for the last 2 years. It's close to necessary conveniences like shopping and entertainment, pet friendly, relatively cheap (comparatively) and is a nice layout. Year three things took another turn. We had just decided that we were gonna stay, when out of no where some moron decides to have a party in our community center, has a fire in the fireplace but whoops they forgot to open the flue and up in flames it went. There went a lot of the amenities that we pay for, including our gym. Then they decided to INCREASE our rent! Um hello? We are loyal residents and we are staying here despite losing vital amenities and your gonna screw us We didn't have anywhere else to go, so we had no choice. (By the way this happened in February of 2010, its now the middle of Jan 2011 and the new clubhouse still isn't finished) Not only were we without clubhouse, but due to construction they had to close one of our 2 pools. When summer hit that was a nightmare. You got all the kids, plus the underage drinkers, and the elderly people all at one pool. They decided to send out a letter that each apartment was only allowed to have 2 guests attend the pool! WHAT?!?! The lease that I signed said nothing about people restrictions to use my amenities.

Not only this, but over the course of the summer we had some issues with our kitchen sink. It kept overflowing. We woke up on our anniversary to a gray water nightmare. Overflowed onto our counter and our apartment SMELLED! When I called the leasing office they told me that it wasn't an emergency and they would send someone as soon as they could. How is this filth not an emergency? It's a health hazard. Two and a half hours later someone showed up to snake the drain. YAY. "Happy Anniversary honey! Gift? Well I got you this nasty smell and a wait! How thoughtful!" 2 weeks later it happened again! This time it left an inch of water on our kitchen floor! Needless to say I left a not so nice message on the answering machine at the leasing office, because they were of course closed when I got home. Not only problems with the sink, but our dryer...oh it's a peach. It takes 3 hours to dry a load of towels. 3 HOURS! Jeans forget it. Not to mention the time our water heater broke and another time where a repair guy drilled a hole into our gas line!

Not only do we have issues with the physical things in our apartment, we have such wonderful neighbors. (Insert sarcasm here!) We have one neighbor who constantly bangs on his wall and his barking dag drives us nuts. Another has a child that seems to have an illness, she cannot leave their apartment without screaming at the top of her lungs while running to the staircase. They also let her knock on our door and run away, which in turn aggravates our dog. The people below us smoke cigarettes and have these little yappie dogs, so if we aren't having our noses invaded by the nasty smell its our ears drums being assaulted. The newest one however is the BEST. I don't know if they don't know they have neighbors below or if they don't care, but at all hours of the night you can hear them walking (no jumping) around the apartment, slamming doors, dropping what sounds like 25 pound dumb-bells and various other noises. It's enough to drive a person MAD!

Needless to say the time has come for us to move on and up and purchase a house. The hunt has begun. We have already seen three prospects in our price range with decent living conditions. I mean a GREAT step up from the missing cabinets and flooding. The process will be long, but I am sure that with enough faith and searching that we WILL find the home of our dreams!

What is an adult?

Merrium - Webster defines this word as "fully developed and mature" "Grown-Up." Ok well this doesn't really help define it now does it. Mature: a (1) : having completed natural growth and development : ripe (2) : having undergone maturation b : having attained a final or desired state. Hmmm still not getting there. Yes by definition a person at the age of 16 years old, because they have fully developed physically would be considered an adult, but maturity wise they aren't. When is a person fully mature? How do we define this in actual terms?

In our society most people go through stages of life. Childhood - where we live at home with our parents, progress through responsibilities such as chores and homework and learn the difference between right and wrong. Adolescence - We have learned all the necessary tools to get a drivers license and be able to keep a temporary job, but our responsibilities are still limited and we are under the control of parents. Early adulthood - Responsibilities become more abundant. We are required to keep a job to pay for our own needs and most of the time have kept a steady relationship and have moved out of our parents home, and most have gone or are in college. Adulthood - We have graduated college, gotten married (most of the time), purchased a home, and prepared or started to have a family and have careers. Now granted this is not the case for some people, but most go through this specific coming of age process.

What has brought this topic up. Well I have gone through this specific process and have come to the adulthood portion. Darin and I are looking into buying our first house. We went out yesterday to look at some properties and were greatly pleased to find much more out there in our price range than before and the likely-hood that this year might be "the year" we do it. Yes its a big step and a lot of money but I think we are ready to do so. But here's the question. Are we considered adults now that we have decided to take this step? Or were we adults before? Sometimes the line seems blurred. I see "adults" on a daily basis that act like children. They cut in line in front of you and pretend like they didn't see you. Don't return phone calls because they don't feel like it. Tell you that you are not being mature for stating a fact. They misinterpret things and don't want to speak to you because of something they thought you said. I am sorry, but all of these examples can be seen on a daily basis in a 6th grade elementary school classroom. Add in social networks like Facebook and Twitter and they get even worse. Playing point the finger on someone's page, adding in their two cents. I am sorry, but if you don't want somebody to air their dirty laundry, then don't ask them on a public forum to do so....it only sparks the curiosity that is en-grained into us mere humanoids. Don't delete someone because you are mad, just to re-add them a day later. (Yes these are "adults" and over the age of 30 that do these things) It has taken me many years to get here, and granted it's still a learning process and I can't always do it, but if you have something that you need to say to someone just SAY IT, and if it is said on a public forum, don't get mad if all 200+ of your friends see it. Your fault!

Another thing that bothers me is these "adults" act like because you are younger than them that you couldn't possibly have the insight into things of substance like politics or business. They are always shocked when we say something of pertinence. I personally almost never talk about politics because it only causes friction and anger when you don't see eye to eye. I do pay attention though and listen so that I am aware of what is going on. Next time your stuck in the situation of listening to a political debate in a room full of adults, just sit back and listen.....back to 6th grade we go. Sure the words are better, and the sentences make sense, but they attack each other and point the finger. It's really amusing if you can get past the tension. Why is it that just because we have less years built in that we can't possibly know a thing or two about life? I mean, we have made it this far haven't we? I have a friend that is much younger than me, but acts so mature that sometime I forget her age. Then I will mention something about a TV show or movie from the 80's and when she say she hasn't seen it, I am brought back to reality.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that being an adult shouldn't be brought up to age, money, what kind of job you have or you living situation. It really has to do with your maturity level. I am not saying that acting child-like doesn't have its place in an adult life (hell I still go to Disneyland and play board games and color, I like to stay young at heart) but when the time comes to really act like one, to be mature and be the one that people look up to, all I ask is that you try.

One Memory Lane

Sometimes reminiscing is good. Having a few laughs over shared memories and wine (or your drink of choice) can make you feel elated and that you have formed a bond with another person. Some reminiscing can leave you feeling empty though, like my little trip down literal memory lane. On Monday Darin and I were heading out to Simi Valley (my hometown) to have dinner with my grandparents. I had decided to stop into a local craft store to see what kind of baby crafts they had (mostly because our valley has really bad ones with poor customer service.) More on this later. Once I payed for my item, I thought to myself I have some time I should drive by the alma mater.

A little background, my High School was my Junior High. In 1999 they changed over from a Junior High to a Performance Arts and Technology magnet high school. I was the third graduating class from this school, and there were only about 200 students in my class. The entire school can only hold about a thousand students. Needless to say, we worked with what we had and all of our performances were in the M.P.R. (multi-purpose room) a glorified term for Cafeteria, but hey it had a stage. However the stage was about 30 years old that had to be repainted every year and the wood was cracking and splitting so any floor movement tore your $40 pair of tights. It was also so small that you were a switch leap away from landing in the wings. Anyways, we enjoyed our years and felt honored to be apart of something special, or at least we thought so. (Attention Nerd Alert!) Now here it is, the year of our 10 year reunion so I decided to look up the old school and see what they have been up to. Well for the last year they have been building a state of the art theater.! What?!?! I am so jealous. I had to drive by and see this. As I pull into the lot, my jaw drops and I start to tear up! It was beautiful. Not just because of what it stood for, but the architecture was wonderful. (again Nerd Alert!) I was going to park and loiter the property but I noticed two black and whites chatting so I decided against it. As I left the school parking lot and continued down the road something caught my eye and I did a double take. The very large, open field where the local AYSO used to play during the summer was now a parking lot! WHAT? No these students have it all. I had to get to school an hour early just to find a decent place to park and now they have an entire lot?!?! With assigned spaces! SPOILED!

Beautiful :-( Tear!

As I continued up the road, I noticed how much had changed in the short 3 years that I had been gone. The shopping center that I walked past on a daily basis from 7th grade to graduation and then worked in for 4 years after that (horrid customer service job!) had been transformed from a lovely shade of pepto bismol pink and been face lifted into the 21st century with new stores to boot! As I continued down I made a very bad decision and went to my childhood home. I thought I could handle it. I mean I dealt with moving out relatively easy (sure I cried) but mom was right up the street. Then I dealt with moving out of the city even easier, I was married...the parents were moving away and I would be closer to them, but they still owned that house. As I pulled up onto the house the realization hit me. It's not mine anymore. As much as I wanted to go inside, I knew I couldn't. They seem to be taking good care of it, but memories flooded into my head of Christmases, birthdays, our puppy Einstein, and that wonderful pool in the backyard. 15 years in that house of wonderful memories makes it hard to walk away from. Maybe one day I will have the courage to knock on the door and ask to go inside. It will always be my home, even if somebody else lives in it!

What's this stuff in the air?

As you know, I live in "Sunny" southern California. I put these words in quotations because the sunny part has been missing for the last couple of weeks. We, as a metropolis, are used to a specific type of weather. Now please don't get the misconception that we don't get any. We do, but our "rainstorms" are more like a misty shower that are only exacerbated by our poor irrigation systems and bad drivers. So when the forecast says rain, be prepared to be sitting in traffic due to a hefty amount of fender benders. We typically only have 2 seasons: summer and fall(ish)/spring(ish). Yes surrounding areas get all four seasons, and we if we are lucky we can see the occasional fall tree and snow on the mountains in the distance. Typically our summers last from Mid May to the end of September (and sometimes well into October). They start out at a mild 80-90 degrees and then progress to the triple digits. We don't get as much humidity as other states, but it can happen. When "Winter" arrives, its usually very short lived and mostly just cold (ish) I'd say a mild 50 degrees. Many years we have had 70-80 degree temperatures on Christmas.

This year however has been very different. Our summer was very mild and we have had some weird rainstorms (click me for more) but nothing compared to the first Sunday of 2011. Darin and I were up and ready to go to exchange some items and needed to hit a couple of stores and of course the dreaded mall. We went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Urban Home to check out some new furniture. Then we made our way over to the mall, but stopped by Chipotle first (Darin and I discussed that since the food was freshly made and not processed that this didn't count as "Fast Food"). As we were walking into the restaurant I was praying to myself that there were seats inside because I was already freezing. The reason I live in Cali is because I couldn't hack it in any other state, I hate being cold, although snow is fun, and I hate the humidity and heat. Once we were done with our food we walked back to the car to get the items that needed to be exchanged. All this time I was getting text messages and phone calls from people saying that it was snowing. I kept looking up and the freezing water that was falling from the sky thinking that they were crazy. "It's just raining!" Darin and I went about our errands and when we came back out of the mall, there was snow falling from the sky. Wet and heavy, but non-the-less SNOW! There has been many discrepancies via Facebook as to when the last time the Santa Clarita Valley got snow (February 1989, 1992, and we had a mild storm in 2005 last lasted an hour and melted). Regardless of all that, as Darin and I sat in my car this storm turned from wet snow to hardcore(for Cali) snowing.

 

Darin's Car with Snow

While it snowed for the majority of the afternoon, this portion of the snow only lasted for about an hour or so where I live, and only stuck to the various parked cars around our complex and to overhangs and umbrellas. The entire valley was awestruck and could be seen standing in it and looking into the sky as if they were thinking "What's this stuff in the air?" Later that afternoon I went to see a movie. As I was walking to the theater, movie patrons were leaving and looking around in shock because they missed the entire event. It was a unique and wonderful start to the year and even though it didn't last very long we still got to play in it! :-)

Surrounding hillsides with snow

Surrounding hillsides with snow