We Found Love

Yellow diamonds in the light

And we're standing side by side

As your shadow crosses mine

What it takes to come alive

It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny

But I've gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place

Shine a light through an open door

Love and life I will divide

Turn away cause I need you more

Feel the heartbeat in my mind

It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny

But I've gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place

I Will Remember You

Today is a difficult day. My father would have been 53 today. A little over 5 months has past and even though each day gets a little easier, I still find myself wishing that things were different. I know that I cannot change what has happened. You never realize how short life is until you come close to losing it. I lost myself for a while. Not knowing where I was or who I wanted to be. Now I know.  I have realized that I have yet to live my life. There are so many things that I want to do and I am making the point to try and do them. They aren't large things like climbing Mount Everest or things like that, but more looking past myself and seeing what is really out there.

I attempt to be less hurt, meaning when somebody does something it doesn't directly mean that they are doing it to me and I shouldn't get so easily offended. Letting things roll off my back and going with the flow. Choosing who to spend my time with. With the death I fear that the hubbs and I lost a little bit. It's needing to get that time back and return to that good place. It's gotten easier, as everybody knows marriage takes work and we both need to work and put in the effort. We both have goals and I am pushing for mine and helping to push him with his. We plan to make plans now. To experience life in all the ways that we can and to do it together. Whether its taking a trip to somewhere new, like Catalina, or doing a new sport like kneeboarding. We want to at least try something new at least once a month. So the bucket list will expand for 2012 to include all the missing things from this year and to attempt to experience life.

Today though will be a restful day. I will listen to his cd Bar Stools and Call Brand Booze and surround myself with positive people who understand me and all that I am. It will be a  peaceful time for my thoughts and to remember all the memories that I have and all the things that he taught me. 

"I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
Though we are screaming inside oh we can't be heard

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
But once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

That I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories"

 

I love you Daddy!

Things I learned in SLO

So my good friend, Mrs. B to be, had her bachelorette party up at the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo California. It's a well know inn and every room is themed. We stayed in the Harvard Square room, which coincidentally had purple carpet, to fit our purple weekend, and 3 bedrooms to hold all 9 ladies. The intent was to go wine tasting at 3 vineyards and to have dinner and just be silly girls. Although we had some arrival issues.....one lady missed her connecting flight into CA so she had to be connected into the teeny airport in SLO and take a taxi to meet us at the second winery. Out of all the wineries we stopped at, one stood out above the rest. However off the top of my head I cannot think of the name....that's what happens after the first stop! ;-) Even though it rained a little in the morning, we were still able to enjoy our time and celebrate Mrs. B to be's last girls night out as a single lady. Here are a couple of things I learned over the weekend.

10. Nine girls in a dimly lit hotel room with 2 bathrooms equals a lot of interesting makeup looks. We all kinda looked like we over did it a bit!

9. Pea Soup Anderson's has the best split pea soup in the world, however just because it's bottomless, most people can only take the first bowl. Well that's at least for me. Also, pea's provide an unsettling feeling in your stomach....if you catch my drift.

8. Not every winery is as good as the next. I truly only enjoyed one place.....probably because they poured the biggest tastings and their wine was by far superior to the other two.

7. Purple feather boas - not the best idea on the planet. Not only do they shed like crazy looking like a molted bird flew through, but they also leave your hands, necks, and any other part of your skin looking so purple that you look like you got into a MXA fight.

6. It is almost a given that a group of white girls will either break into dancing or singing at any given moment....both of these happened here.

5. The 22 year old guy sitting with his parents (who also has a girlfriend) has no intention of being flattered by a loud obnoxious group of mostly married women. He will stare at you and give you akward looks.

4. No object with a dog or puppy on it is safe with our group. Just saying

3. Things will stay "tight".....(this will stay an inside joke)

2. Contrary to popular belief.....penis straws all come in one size but numerous colors. And while may not be friendly for all ages they certainly are fun for all sex's. Male and female. Also its very difficult to drink a Pina Colada (or any other frozen beverage) out of one. The mechanics just don't work.

And the number one thing I learned in SLO........

1. 2011 Songs have an obsession with whistling in them. In the 3 hour car ride to and from, most of the songs on the radio had some form of whistling in them. Current titles are as follows (not a complete list):

"Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People
"Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5
"Good Life" by One Republic
"I Wanna Go" by Britney Spears

I am sure I missed a bunch but those are the ones off the top of my head!

Someone Like You

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over, yeah.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Feeling a little melancholy today and trying to help so I figured I would post this song cause it's just so beautiful. Everybody has their moment's of what ifs? and this is how she describes hers. Such a talent and a voice! Enjoy!

Scrambled Eggheads!

That is exactly how my brain feels. A lot going on in it and mushed all together that is resembles a scrambled egg.. So my apologies for my scrambled thoughts.

I feel like I am being pulled in a hundered directions. Everybody wants me to be there for them or do something for them. I have this bad habit of trying to make everyone around me happy. I am "The Fixer." I put all my time and effort into things, don't get me wrong I love to do it, but sometimes I would just like to have a little bit of control and not somebody constanltly looking over my shoulder and wanting more. Give me a little bit of credit and know that I am not going to slap some piece of crap together and give it to you. It seems like today people have less and less faith in one another. The theory "to get it done right, I'll just do it myself." Yes I am guilty of this too....but I also know my limits. However if time and time again prove that I am capable of doing something, then for crying out loud LET ME DO IT! I guess I need to just take the time for me every so often to keep my sanity!

I truly need to start a fashion police list. I need to keep a pen and paper with me at all times and write some of this stuff down! It's just comical! I mean yesterday I was sitting at a restaraunt outside and more then half the people that walked by me must have "forgot" to check the mirror. I mean from WAY to tight jeans that resembled a breakfast item (were talking "muffin" top here) and a "dressy" version of gym clothes. I mean your leggings tucked into knee high boots and and scarf over your tank top does not make you a fashionista. Don't get me started on the crocs, or Ugg boots....I mean if your feet are cold enough to wear those then you should wear pants and a long sleeve shirt. Not a cut off mini skirt and a tank. Your sending mixed messages!

Week 2 at the gym was interesting. I mean when you completely burn out a muscle group that is completely shaking when your done you think to yourself "hmmmm probably gonna suffer for this tomorrow." Well yes, I am thoroughly exhausted when I get home, take a shower and crash. It feels so good. However, the next morning when I think I am going to be suffering, I am sore for about 2 hours then I am good for the rest of the day. Then I think to myself, should I up the weight? Naw! It's just week 2 can't burn out my muscles out yet, but it's truly interesting to see the change already. No I'm not a model yet, but I can see the little flab on the belly trimming down and my dancer legs are starting to return! YAY! You know what they say, muscle has memory. It probably helps that I have cut way back on the soda and the sweets while at work. Stay tuned.

Sorry for the rambling....just needed to get some of it out. Looking forward to my weekend at Disney and seeing some family and our Goddaughter! I'll leave you with a little thing to make you smile!

Labor Day at LDP

Every year we wonder what we are going to do for our anniversary. We never planned on it being Labor Day weekend every year, but since we got married it just ends up that way. On Thursday we planned a nice date day with a movie and dinner at the Odyssey restaurant. Then we prepared for a fun and fabulous weekend

Back in June our friend JM invited us to tag along with him and his family to Lake Don Pedro for a long weekend of fun in the sun and water sports. Friday morning....after about 2 hours sleep, we awoke at 5am to pack up the truck and hit the road. The four hour drive to just past Merced, CA was fast and easy, although JM said that I asked to stop too many times. Hey I am a girl! The bladder can only hold so much!

Once we arrived, we ate some sandwiches and headed out to the lake. JM's family has a house so we just walked a little ways and put our "ass in the sand and toes in the water." It was a beautiful weekend. 90+ temperatures and beautiful water. Just right to lounge in. We drove around the lake to get a feel and hung out in the waterfall cove. This is where I had my mini heart attack. The hubbs decided that he wanted to jump off a really tall rock, well I am not so ok with this and as he swam away I could feel the heart palpitations arising. Once he jumped and his head popped out of the water I felt much better! Afterwards we whipped out the water sport boards, wakeboard and skiis, and all the "experts" got into the water. It was impressive to see just how fast and swiftly they could all cut through the water. JM got up on his wakeboard and showed us how it was done. Once everyone was exhausted we went back to the house, ate some grub and played a little bag-o. Mr. C (JM's uncle) and I are still the reigning champs regardless of what people say! Then we watched the stars in the sky and listened to music.

Saturday was a lot of the same....except that I got a little too much color and was regretting bringing only 15 sunblock. We went back to the waterfall cove and watched the craziness that unfolded there as all the new twenty-somethings gathered to have their mating rituals of excessive drinking and teeny bikini's. JM and the hubbs went off a houseboat slide and we just enjoyed the outside. We got some cool shots of a water plane taking off from the little cove, and we took the kayaks out around the islands. We enjoyed nice conversations with JM and then went to have some food. Afterwards we went to "The Lumberyard" where on Saturday nights a band plays and the entire town comes out in droves. A whole 40 of them. We wanted to set JM up with somebody, but alas pickings were slim....there was the pregnant 16 year old....the woman who's husband had to sell the tractor to buy her rock as well has her "floatation devices" and a variety of "too young"ers. It wasn't until we were leaving that we finally found a prospect, but alas it was too late. Bummer.

Sunday we awoke extra early to rig up the kayaks to go out on the river. The hubbs and I have never kayaked on a river and we were told that we would probably dump over, since most newbies do. We were paddling along just fine until we came along "the rapids." More like a couple of baby wakes but still I was kinda nervous because I didn't wanna be tossed over. The nose of the kayak went under a couple of times, getting my lower half soaking wet with freezing water but we managed to get through it ok. Mrs. C, who was ahead of us with JM, shouted back "that was the worst one!" Well that wasn't too bad. As we turned to look at the scenery around us we noticed that the couple behind us, those who have done this before, had toppled their kayak. In my head I thought "Now don't get too cocky, were not out of the clear yet." As we continued down the river I thought to myself how relaxing the whole thing was and what a great thing for the hubbs and I to do together. Once we reached the end, the hubbs and I did a little celebrating that we ended the trip without toppling over and only a teeny bit wet.

Afterwards, we went back to the house for lunch. Despite a teensy dispute over how much mayo belongs on one side of the bread.....hehe....lunch was good and we packed ourselves back onto the boat to try our hands a wakeboarding. After several attempts (and a couple of broken nails later), neither the hubbs nor I was able to get up, but we got really close! After that we tried kneeboarding. They shore started me and we were able to ride around for a really long time and enjoy the water. It was a blast. Alas the fun had to come to an end because it was our night for dinner. We brought homemade pasta sauce, (recipie straight from Sicily) meatballs, sausage, salad and garlic bread. Perfect meal to end a weekend in the sun. We stuffed our bellies and then went out for a drive to watch the sunset. While the hubbs was taking photo's, a resident drove up to JM and I while sitting in the cart. He looked at me and said "don't let him try and say he ran outta gas now." That tickled me a little when I looked over at my hubby who was completely oblivious to the statement. I looked over at JM and said, "You used all your best moves on us.....guess were gonna have to put out." Afterwards we went into the spa and watched the stars and talked. Got to know one another better.

Monday was pack and clean day before we left. Although we did get 2 extra hours on the lake for the hubbs to perfect his kneeboarding and for JM, and the others to get on the wakeboards and skiis. We got some great photo's on the trip, but the best part was getting to know a great person and formulating a new friendship!

We couldn't have had a better time! Looking forward to the next adventure! Below are what you all were waiting for: PHOTO'S!

Watching the Sunset

JM on the wakeboard

So many stars!

JM on the kneeboard

Chilling in the water

Lake Don Pedro

The hubbs figuring out that he should have put them on before entering the water

View of the cove

A real "House"boat

Flag BOY!

The waterplane taking off

The hubbs on the kneeboard

Me on the kneeboard

Work that tan!

Perfect place to relax!

Beautiful views

Jumping off the rocks

Flag GIRL

Moon over the water

Mrs. C showing us how its done!

Get some AIR!

A little wine bag......

So when I heard that my good friend wanted to go wine tasting for her bachelorette party I was super excited. The wheels started to spin and I wondered what I could do to make this weekend special for all the ladies that were coming, including the bride. My mom gets emails from Moda Bake Shop filled with different free patterns and quilting ideas and when this one popped into her inbox, she immediately sent it over to me. Quilted wine bags! What a perfect way to say Thank You to all the ladies that attend and also a memento from the trip! So cute! We went and purchased "Wine" color fabrics that had a lot of purple in it since that was the color of the weekend. Purple lining, ribbons, and buttons. Of course you can't forget the charms and a bottle of wine! Mom and I went straight to work putting these together. Hopefully all the ladies that attended the bachelorette party appreciated them because they were made straight from the heart! <3

Feel That Burn

Ok, back in January I posted about being healthier and eating better.....well as we all know how New Years Resolutions go....straight down the tube. After our recent lake trip and viewing the photo's, the hubbs and I decided that we were going to make the effort, get a gym membership and actually kick our butts into gear. Here's the good news. We have a friend that could be a trainer if he wanted to, that is willing to do the things that we need....push us to be better in the gym and out. The hubbs weakness is Diet Soda and candy. Mine is just laziness. I used to be very active and involved in group dance, but within the last 18 months I have gotten very complacent in my exercise routine. I mean lets get real....if your not used to getting off your butt and going to the gym, it gets really boring to be alone, on a treadmill with no motivation.

So that's what our "trainer" Mr. P provides. Knowledge, motivation, and self esteem. I have a wide knowledge already, but a lack of self esteem. Our first 'session' together I sat at the bicep extension machine thinking to myself, "Ok 10 pounds will be good for me." Nope! He popped that key into the 35 pound placeholder and I gave him the "you've got to be kidding me!" face. He told me to just try it and if it's too much then we'll drop it down. Well what do you know, I was able to do it! Sure it was challenging, but not to the point of utter impossibilities. He does the same thing with the hubbs.

This being the first week, I knew it was going to be challenging. But that's what I need....a swift kick in the @$$. Not a gentle push, or niceties.  I need a "Just Do It," not to be confused with the Nike advertisements. Here are some things I have learned about myself: I am stronger than I think I am. I may not be able to lift the heavy stuff like the guys, but in my area I am not a weakling! I will never be a twiggy woman, I am not built that way. So why not play up my strengths and get into athletic shape? Ever see the movie Stick It. That's my goal! To be toned, althletic and flexible. Everything that a dancer (or gymnast) has. Also I am not a "Poser" and I don't mean the people that just go to the gym for a place to meet people, or pretend to work out, when I go I don't want to cheat. Sure there are times when my body is screaming 'NO!' and I can't complete the move all the way through. That's why you have someone watching, to make sure that your ok and if you need help to provide it. I mean that in the literal sense, I do not "pose" when waiting for a machine. I look around at some of these girls and they look like all they would have to do is change clothes and they could go out for a night of dancing! Me however I look like a wet rat!

Other girls.......



Me.....

So that's what I have learned about myself just in the first week, I know that I will probably learn more as the weeks/months go by. The hubbs and I are sore and not used to our muscles being exhausted, but soon it will all be worth it. We can all push each other to be better, because we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Soon Mr. P and the hubbs will soon look like the Abercrombie and Fitch models (they don't have too far to go) and myself, well maybe I will have the confidence to finally do some modeling photo's! We shall see. I will be doing a before photo and in a couple of months post a progress shot. Stay tuned!

A Blue and Yellow Country Shower

This past weekend was my best friends Blue and Yellow Country Bridal Shower. After months of planning and organizing the day had arrived. I spent the evening before helping her mom get organized and set up, and the next day my mom and I arrived early to begin the day. We set up all the rest of the tables and got the food organized. The Bride-To-Be's little bro and father were the only males in attendance because we needed somebody to take photo's and to do the heavy lifting, but we all enjoy their company so having a little testosterone around wasn't a big deal. I helped K-Mo with his camera to get all the settings right for the day and even was able to get a couple of shots of my own.

Once all the guests arrived we took our mason jars and filled them to the brim with Sangria or Spiked Sweet Tea and proceeded to pile the plates with wonderfully yummy food. We chatted and shared lots of memories and funny stories. Once lunch was over, it was game time. We had a variety of fun loving games including the music game and the toilet paper wedding dress fashion show. We giggled and had a wonderful time. Even the bride got in on the action with her own special "How Well Do You Know the Groom" Game. Every time she got an answer wrong she had to eat a bubblicious bubble gum. I wont let on to how many she got wrong, but she wasn't a happy camper at the end of it as she slightly resembled a chipmunk! Teehee. It was all in good fun though. She then opened gifts and we played bridal bingo. After thoroughly exhausting every piece of wrapping paper and ribbon (she didn't break a single one!) we then had cake. The ladies that were still left moseyed outside to sit under the twinkling lights and the beautiful summer sky. I personally think that it was a wonderful day, a little warm but that was to be expected in late August. The Bride-To-Be was stunning and we had a wonderful time. I hope that it was everything she expected and more.

Here are some photos that I got: